Welcome back to another edition of my musings on life, its struggles, and the ways we can navigate through them. Today’s post will be shorter than usual because, guess what? I’m practicing what I preach and learning to say no to overcommitting. So, what's on the menu today? Ah, yes, the tantalizing dish of "No." As Shakespeare might have said in one of his lesser-known plays: "No." (Okay, maybe that wasn’t exactly the line, but let’s pretend it was for the sake of drama and a good laugh.)

Remember when we were kids, and our favorite word was "No"? A child's first words are often "Mama," "Dada," and then enter the "terrible twos," that delightful phase where toddlers discover the magic of "No" and wield it like a mighty sword. It’s a simple, two-letter word, yet it carries so much weight. But as we grow older, we tend to forget that word, replacing it with "Yes" far too often.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about Alex. He's the reason behind the post "Navigating Heartbreak: When Letting Go Feels Like Losing Wi-Fi." Whenever so-called Alex answers anyone and he disagrees with them, he always says "Yes, but..." and I find it fascinating and hilarious. The first couple of times I did not notice it, but then as we spent more time together, I figured, AH! That's a subtle way of disagreeing and I loved it. It’s a clever reminder of how nuanced and powerful our words can be.

Now, let me introduce you to my dear colleague, "Bubbly Betty." Betty is the human embodiment of a ray of sunshine, always smiling, always eager to help, and always, always saying yes. Need someone to cover your shift? Yes. Want to dump a last-minute project on her desk? Yes. Inviting her to a sixth social event this week? Yes. Betty says yes to everything and everyone. Even her family has come to expect it. But here’s the thing: all that yes takes its toll on her. By Friday, Betty looks like she’s been run over by the "Yes" train.

Betty’s life is a cautionary tale. Being agreeable is sweet, but it’s also exhausting. The freedom that comes with saying no is something Betty desperately needs to discover.

Why do we find it so hard to say "No" as adults? It’s almost as if we’ve been programmed to avoid it. Maybe it’s because we’ve been taught to be polite, to not rock the boat, to always be agreeable. Or perhaps it's the fear of missing out, or FOMO as the cool kids call it, that drives us to say yes to every opportunity, invitation, and request.

But here’s the kicker: saying yes all the time doesn’t make us superheroes; it just makes us utterly exhausted. So, how do we break the cycle and start embracing the magical power of no? Let’s dive into some oh-so-practical tips to help you master the fine art of saying no:

  1. Channel Your Inner Toddler: Remember when "No" was your go-to word as a kid? Time to bring that rebellious spirit back. Next time someone asks you for a favor, take a moment to bask in the nostalgia of your toddler years and just say no. Awkward? Sure. Satisfying? Absolutely.

  2. The Polite Decline: Who says you have to be a party pooper to say no? Try this magical phrase: "Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now." It’s like the adult version of "talk to the hand," but with a touch of class.

  3. Set Boundaries Like a Boss: Your time and energy are like rare Pokémon—precious and worth protecting. Let people know your limits. Whether it’s not checking work emails after 6 PM or dodging social events like the plague, make your boundaries as impenetrable as Fort Knox.

  4. Prioritize What Matters: Before you blurt out yes, take a second to ponder if this aligns with your priorities. If it doesn’t, feel free to hit them with a “Nope, not today.” Your time is way too valuable to waste on things that don’t spark joy or at least pay your bills.

  5. Delegate and Share the Load: Overwhelmed with tasks? Here’s a wild idea—ask for help. Delegating doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re smart enough to know that even superheroes need a sidekick. Plus, it’s a great way to give others the gift of responsibility.

And here's a fun exercise: next time you're tempted to say yes out of sheer habit, channel your inner Alex. Remember his classic "Yes, but..." line? Now, spice it up and replace it with "No, and here's why." Trust me, it’s a game-changer. Suddenly, you're not just disagreeing, you’re setting the stage for a masterclass in assertiveness.

Embracing the power of no can be a total game-changer. It's like discovering a superpower you never knew you had. It allows you to reclaim your time and energy, focus on what truly matters, and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life. By saying no to things that don't align with your goals and values, you're making space for opportunities that actually matter.

And let’s not forget about our dear friend Bubbly Betty. Imagine Betty, the human ray of sunshine, trying out this exercise. Instead of drowning in a sea of yeses and losing sleep over everyone else’s problems, she could be lounging at home, sipping tea, and reading that book she’s always wanted to finish. Every time Betty says no to yet another soul-sucking favor, she’s saying yes to her own peace and sanity. Now, isn't that a delightful thought?

So, let’s make a pact to start saying no more often. Let’s reclaim our time, our energy, and our lives. Every time you say no to something that doesn’t serve you, you're saying yes to something that does. And that, my friends, is the true power of no.

Now go forth and unleash your inner "No"-wielding warrior. Betty will thank you, and so will your future self.

Today's Wisdom:

"Remember that if you don’t prioritize your life someone else will." – Greg McKeown

Greg McKeown is a renowned author and public speaker, best known for his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. In Essentialism, McKeown tackles the overwhelming demands of modern life and offers a clear roadmap for prioritizing what truly matters. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and saying no to non-essential tasks and commitments to make room for more meaningful contributions.

This wisdom is a perfect fit for today's discussion on the power of saying no. By prioritizing our lives and setting clear boundaries, we reclaim our time and energy, ensuring that we live according to our values and goals, not someone else’s agenda.

So, next time you’re tempted to say yes to yet another pointless meeting or social event, just remember Greg’s words. Unless, of course, you enjoy juggling everyone else’s priorities and playing superhero for a day. But if you’d rather not end up with a calendar that looks like a game of Tetris, start embracing the magic of "No." Trust me, your future self will thank you when you’re sipping a nice cup of tea with your feet up, instead of scrambling to meet everyone else’s demands.

Remember, keep whispering your truth—because every "no" you utter is a victory for your freedom and self-respect.

Leila ❤️