To forgive and forget, to forgive but never forget. Apparently, these are the choices we have—or so I’ve heard. Sitting here with my thoughts whispering to me (thanks a lot, brain), I can’t help but ponder: Have I really forgiven the people who have harmed me? These pesky thoughts are like that annoying pop-up ad you just can’t close. Seriously, can we get a mental ad blocker already?

I mean, the F words here are popping up on repeat, and no, it’s not what you’re thinking (get your mind out of the gutter). I’m talking about the two F’s of forgiveness: fact and fiction. Forgive and forget? This is the unicorn of forgiveness. It's a nice idea, but let’s be honest—who can actually forget? Unless you have a memory like Dory from Finding Nemo, forgetting isn’t really an option. The real goal here is to let go of the emotional baggage. On the other hand, forgive but never forget? This one’s more practical. Remembering doesn’t mean you hold on to the pain. It means you acknowledge the lesson learned and use it to protect your peace in the future.

So which one do we go with: to forget or not to forget (ah, the Shakespearean dilemma)? You see, forgiveness isn't a one-time event; it's a process. It's like peeling an onion—there are layers, and sometimes, it makes you cry. And that's okay.

If I’m honest, there are days when I question if I’ve truly forgiven those who’ve hurt me. It’s not like a switch you can flip. Some days, I feel at peace, and on others, those old wounds sting like a fresh paper cut. Forgiveness is more like a spiral staircase—you keep going around, but you’re also moving upward.

I know what you’re thinking. So why bother forgiving anyway? Here’s the thing: holding onto grudges is like trying to outrun a shadow—it never quite works, and you just end up exhausted. It eats away at your peace, your happiness. Forgiveness isn’t about them; it’s about you. It’s about freeing yourself from the heavy chains of resentment.

Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself first. For all the times you were hard on yourself—like when I was late to cook dinner, or forgot to buy my son's favorite chocolate, or was late to pick up my daughter. After the divorce, I couldn't afford to get my kids all the things they wanted. These moments gnawed at me, making me feel like I was failing as a mother. But what I’ve learned is that self-forgiveness is the foundation upon which forgiving others is built.

I struggled for a long time to forgive my ex. The anger and resentment were like a dark cloud hanging over me, affecting everything I did. But one day, I realized that holding onto that anger was only harming me. It was keeping me stuck in a place of pain. The only way I could truly move forward was by focusing on the beautiful children I have, the joy they bring me, and the strength I’ve discovered within myself since the divorce.

Sure, there are times when I get angry because of the consequences I still suffer from. But instead of letting that anger consume me, I try to shift my focus to the positive outcomes. I discovered my resilience, my ability to stand on my own two feet, and the incredible bond I share with my children.

Always remember, forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a daily practice. Each day presents new challenges, testing our patience and compassion. By incorporating small acts of forgiveness into our lives, we build emotional resilience and strength. Think of it as a gift you give yourself. It’s about reclaiming your happiness and peace. So next time you’re bogged down by past hurts, ask yourself, “Is this burden worth carrying?” Chances are, it’s not.

Today’s Wisdom

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” – Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou, an esteemed author, poet, and civil rights activist, often spoke about the power of self-forgiveness and personal growth. She highlighted the importance of being compassionate with oneself for past mistakes and learning from those experiences.

This quote is particularly relevant to today's post about forgiveness, as it underscores the necessity of starting with self-forgiveness. Before we can truly let go of the anger and resentment towards others, we must first be kind to ourselves, acknowledging our own imperfections and the journey of learning and growth we've undergone.

Remember, keep whispering your truth—because if you don't forgive, you can't truly move forward.

Leila ❤️