Remember when we were kids and had a gazillion friends? Life was a never-ending party, and everyone seemed to be our BFF. But as we grow up, something funny happens – that massive circle of friends starts shrinking. And not in a "my-jeans-don't-fit-anymore" kind of way, but in a "who-are-these-people-really" kind of way.
We've all been there. One minute, our social calendar is bursting at the seams, and the next, we're lucky if we can find one reliable friend who doesn’t cancel plans last minute. Adulthood has a knack for filtering out the fair-weather companions and revealing the true treasures in our lives. You know, the ones who don’t ghost you the second your Netflix subscription expires.
When we’re young, friendships are often formed out of convenience. We bond over shared toys, favorite cartoons, or simply because we sit next to each other in class. As we get older, the reasons we choose our friends become more complex. We start to value deeper connections, shared values, and mutual respect. This natural evolution can be both a blessing and a curse – like discovering your favorite dessert has more calories than a deep-fried Mars bar.
I remember my college years as a whirlwind of social activities. My friends and I were inseparable, always planning the next big outing or party. But as we transitioned into our careers, relationships, and other adult responsibilities, our priorities shifted. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about who could have the most fun, but who could be counted on during the tough times.
As the demands of adult life took over, I began to see the true colors of those around me. I started noticing little things: friends who only reached out when they needed something, or who couldn’t be bothered to return my calls when I needed to talk. It was as if our relationship was conditional on what I could offer them at any given moment. This realization was like a bucket of cold water – shocking, uncomfortable, but ultimately refreshing as it woke me up to the reality of my relationships.
Let’s talk about the emotional rollercoaster of losing friends. It’s a cocktail of betrayal, sadness, anger, and sometimes, a harsh realization that certain friendships have simply run their course. It’s hard not to take it personally when someone you considered close drifts away or outright disappears from your life. The betrayal stings, the sadness lingers, and the anger can be overwhelming. I often found myself questioning what I did wrong and why I wasn’t enough.
During a particularly rough patch, I found myself unable to support my friends as I used to. I needed their support and could only offer my presence – no grand gestures, no problem-solving, just me. When I finally got back on my feet, I noticed something disheartening – more than half of them had disappeared. They weren’t there for me; they were there for what I could provide. And when I had nothing to offer, their loyalty evaporated faster than ice cream in the Dubai sun. Dealing with these feelings of abandonment was incredibly challenging. I had to learn to process my emotions and understand that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.
Then there are the work friends who become like family. We spend countless hours together, sharing both professional and personal highs and lows. These relationships often feel deeper because of the sheer amount of time and experiences shared. But what happens when these work friends let you down?
I had a colleague who I thought was my ride-or-die at the office. We laughed, vented, and even planned life together. But during my tough period, when I needed support the most, they were nowhere to be found. It hurt even more because I considered this person my work family. Apparently, the office family can be as fickle as that Wi-Fi connection you keep stealing from your neighbor. It was a stark reminder that even in professional settings, not everyone has your back as you might have theirs.
This tough experience taught me a valuable lesson about the people who are truly worth keeping around. The ones who stick by you when you have nothing to give but your true self are the ones who matter. It forced me on a journey of self-discovery, reevaluating my priorities and setting healthier boundaries. I realized that I needed to surround myself with people who truly enrich my life.
Rebuilding friendships was a process that required patience and honesty. I reached out to old friends with whom I had lost touch, opening up about my experiences and my need for authentic connection. Surprisingly, many of them responded with warmth and understanding, ready to reconnect on a deeper level. I also made new friends through shared interests and activities, focusing on building relationships that were based on mutual respect and genuine care.
These meaningful connections now look vastly different from the superficial friendships of the past. My closest friends are those who check in on me regularly, not out of obligation but out of genuine concern. We support each other through life's ups and downs, offering a listening ear and heartfelt advice without expecting anything in return. Our gatherings may not always be about grand adventures, but they are filled with meaningful conversations, laughter, and a sense of belonging.
For example, my friend Wacky Wanda and I reconnected after years apart. We now call each other every few weeks just to catch up and enjoy each other's company. There’s no pressure to impress or entertain – just two people who genuinely care about each other's well-being. Another friend, Passionate Patricia (not her real name), is someone I met at work. She is passionate about what she does and vocal about her opinions. Patricia has become my go-to for support, a good laugh, and shared experiences.
Then there are Bubbly Betty and Dependable Alex. Bubbly Betty always knows how to lift my spirits with her infectious positivity, while Dependable Alex is the rock-solid friend who is always there when I need them the most.
I've also learned to cherish the smaller, more intimate circle of friends that remained. These were the people who saw me at my worst and still chose to stick around. They didn’t need grand gestures or constant attention; they valued me for who I was. And that, I realized, was priceless.
So, here’s a question for you: Are you with the right people? If you often find yourself doubting the loyalty or intentions of those around you, it might be time to reassess your circle. Prioritize relationships that lift you up, accept you unconditionally, and make you feel truly seen.
It's important to remember that it's okay for friendships to change and evolve. Some people are meant to be in your life for a season, while others are there for the long haul. The key is to recognize and appreciate the ones who truly matter.

Today’s Wisdom

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt, an influential First Lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945, was not only the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt but also a renowned diplomat, activist, and author. She wrote this in her book "You Learn by Living," published in 1960. 

Just as Roosevelt suggests, many people will come and go in our lives, but the true friends – the Bubbly Bettys, Dependable Alexes, and Wacky Wandas – are the ones who leave lasting impressions and stand by us through thick and thin. These are the friends who see us at our worst and still stick around, valuing us for who we are, without needing grand gestures or constant attention.

Remember, keep whispering your truth, because those who are meant to hear it will always stay.

Leila ❤️