Ever found yourself in a place where everything feels overwhelmingly dark? Like you're stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and self-doubt, and no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to break free? Oh, the joy of waking up each day feeling like you’re in emotional quicksand. I've been there too, and let me tell you, it’s tough. But here's a secret: the way out starts with a single, seemingly simple thought. Yes, a thought. Not a fairy godmother waving a magic wand, but a plain old thought. Who knew, right?
Yes, I know you've heard this before: "Oh great, another life coach with their miracle cure for everything." But hold on, I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m surely not saying that it can be done on a daily basis. But it is possible. I’ve been on and off meditation for years now, and during those meditations, I was taught how to focus on my breath, how to shift my attention slightly to be in the moment. And it was during one of those moments that a 'what if' (and not one of those courtesy of Anxious Annie) hit me:
What if I’m in a very bad place in my life? If I can do one thing today to change it, what would it be?
This is where it all started, and it happened at the toughest time of my life. At that point, I was thinking, "Yes, I am in a bad place, but how is this helping?" Then, I decided to change my perspective. What if it's true that a thought can change something? You see, when you ask yourself the right question, you start to activate the part of your brain responsible for problem-solving. It's like flipping a switch. Instead of being stuck in a loop of despair, you start searching for solutions.
Our brains are wired to find answers to questions. This is where the magic happens. By simply asking yourself, "What if I could change one thing today?" you shift your focus from the problem to potential solutions. This process, known as cognitive restructuring, helps shift our mindset from a problem-oriented approach to a solution-oriented one. It's like flipping a switch in your brain that turns on the problem-solving mode.
So you see, what we need to do to activate that part is to have a thought that we don’t want to feel the way we do. Or we no longer want to think the way we think. Or we no longer want to have the kind of results (or lack thereof) that we have. Maybe it’s feeling constantly overwhelmed by that ever-growing to-do list, doubting our every move like we’re contestants on a game show called "What Did I Mess Up Today?", or waking up each day with a sense of dread that makes Monday mornings look like a walk in the park. Until we have that thought, nothing will change.
Acknowledge it. We don’t feel great. We doubt ourselves. We’ve had a lot of bad things happen—like spilling coffee on our favorite shirt, missing that important deadline, or even going through a messy divorce. We have regrets. But with the time we have left, we can start to enjoy ourselves. We can take better care of ourselves. We can feel happy.
We don’t even have to fully believe it yet. We can just want it. We’ve got to start there. We’ve got to start with wanting something better for ourselves and then start acting like the people who have the things we want right now. Even if we don’t feel like it.
Let's talk about those days when you feel like you’re at rock bottom. The days when even getting out of bed feels like climbing Everest. It's okay to acknowledge that you’re in a bad place. Maybe you’ve lost your job, had a falling out with a friend, or you're just stuck in a rut that feels impossible to escape. Trust me, I've been there. I had days when brushing my teeth felt like moving mountains. But here I am, and all I am asking you to do is take one small step, have one thought only. Don't be harsh on yourself even if you slip during the day—it's fine. At least you tried, and the next second, minute, hour, or day, you can try again. Just don't stay there. Remember, progress isn't about perfection; it's about persistence. Keep taking those small steps, and you'll find your way out.
To start your journey, try writing down one thing you are grateful for each day, no matter how small. Reflect on why it makes you feel grateful. Spend five minutes each morning focusing on your breath, noticing how it feels to inhale and exhale, and letting go of any thoughts that come up. Start your day with a positive affirmation like, "I am capable of change," or "I deserve happiness." Take a short walk, even if it’s just around your home. Physical movement can help shift your mindset and improve your mood. Whenever you catch yourself being harsh or critical, pause and gently remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Celebrate even the smallest victories.
Until we have that thought to want better for ourselves, we’ll remain stuck. But once we have that thought, even if we don't fully believe it yet, we start to create a path out of the darkness. It’s not about making huge leaps but taking small, consistent steps. Each step builds on the last, and before you know it, you’ve created momentum.
So, let’s start small. Want something better for ourselves. Act like the people who have what we want, even if we don’t feel like it yet. Because those small steps? They add up to big changes.
Mental health is a journey, not a destination. It starts with a simple thought, a tiny shift in perspective. So, what if today, we decide to make one small change? What if we ask ourselves the question that starts our journey to a better place? Remember, it’s okay to start small. It’s okay to want more for ourselves. And it’s absolutely okay to start acting like the people who have the things we want, even if we don’t feel like it yet.
Today’s Wisdom
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher who lived around the 6th century BC and authored the Tao Te Ching. His wisdom has guided countless individuals through the ages. This quote is particularly relevant to our discussion today because it highlights that even the longest and most challenging journeys begin with a single step. It's a reminder that taking small actions can lead to significant changes in our mental health and overall well-being.
Remember, keep whispering your truth—because each small step you take is a giant leap towards a better you.
Leila ❤️